October 21, 2016

But I'm a nice guy

Nice guys finish last.

One of the most common things I hear when guys come to me for relationship coaching is, "I'm a nice guy, why don't women want to date me?"

This is usually when I ask them how honest they actually want me to be, and how serious they are about using what I'm about to tell them.

Maybe ask yourself those questions before reading further.

The short answer to their question is, they're full of shit.

We all learned how to be nice to each other in kindergarten. Or, did you miss that class? If you haven't added any other positive traits since you were 5 years old, how in the world can you be mystified that nobody wants to date you?

What's really going on

Most times, when a guy feels resentful that a girl hasn't dated him (even though he's nice) it's the result of his failure to manipulate the object of his affections.

I use 'object' on purpose; most nice guys™ see women as vending machines that dole out sexual favors in exchange for nice dollars™.

"I picked her up from the airport, I watched her cat, and she still hasn't even kissed me! She's just leading me on!"

So what do you do?

When it comes to dating, there's a lot of complex social and biological elements at play. Your best bet is to work on being awesome by yourself, and that will make you much more attractive to your prospective partners.

Take a welding class, learn to cook, go on an adventure, work out, build a business, etc.

Do something awesome!

These hobbies & interests will help you be more interesting than only bringing "nice" to the table.

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